Why haven’t I been blogging?! Maybe you thought my savages had taken over and confiscated my computer. They have somewhat taken over with Spring Break and snow days in the middle of SPRING. Don’t you just love Missouri? (sarcasm implied) But seriously, I know it has been several weeks since my last blog and all I can come up with right now is to update all you Blessed followers with a random post about our life happenings and future endeavors.
Since I had this vision about beginning an organization to offer assistance to families, I have been on non-stop idea mode that has brought about several areas of focus! It has been rather difficult for my somewhat AADD brain. (adult attention deficit disorder) I have this idea rolling around in my head. I want to offer immediate and unquestioned support/assistance for families that are fostering but also extend that to families in need in the area as well. No paperwork, no strings attached, no explaining why you need help. Just a God- honoring environment where helping people comes from the heart.
Sometimes, when you get a foster child, it is planned out, you’ve somewhat prepared, and made the decision to offer your home and life to a child in need. Most often, though, the stories I am familiar with are family related and at the drop of a hat these children (related to you in some way) are at your doorstep with a black trash bag, or nothing at all. You crash course your way through the first night and maybe the next day. Then all at once you have caseworkers giving you check lists and requirements and scheduling a home visit to make sure these kids can stay with you based on the state’s standards. It is intrusive and somewhat intimidating, but the cause for which you are willing to meet their standards is well worth it.
Sometimes, usually by day two or three, a sobering reality strikes you and sounds somewhat like this, (courtesy of one of my good friends) “I’m standing in my kitchen watching all these kids run all around my house realizing what just took place. I’m just staring off into space thinking that if someone doesn’t come help me I’m gonna lose it.” Sometimes, our daddies come in the door with coffee and bags of groceries in that moment, right Michelle? But sometimes, we are left wondering where to go from here. Yes, we are sure we are doing the right thing, but we have never been here before, right? So what’s the first thing you ask yourself in any situation that is foreign to you? “Who do I know that has been here and how can they help me right now?”
That’s where Organization “no name” (because my brilliant brain hasn’t come up with a name yet) steps into the picture. Here we are with nice, clean, organized clothing and shoes to pick from. Just like walking into a clothing store. Clothes will be neatly hung on racks, in proper sizes and separated into boys and girls. No rummaging through binds and trying to find something that’s not from 1980 or full of stains and holes! I hate that! We just took these kids out of an environment where their needs were not being met and most organizations have only the rags people donate to offer these innocent little children. That, to me, sends the message that they are only good enough for the leftovers.
I’d like to go beyond that though, nice books, toys, hair bows, beds, bedding, dressers, pack and plays, highchairs, etc. Any need of any person in their family would be our goal. Why put the focus on only the foster children? This family has opened its home and hearts to children in need and sometimes their needs and other children in the home’s needs get put on hold to organize this new way of life.
That’s just a start. I know God has bigger plans but this is where it shall begin.
Secondly, while fast at work figuring out how to get this off the ground. God said to me, write a book about adoption. Oh, no problem, God. So one afternoon, while the kiddos were napping, it came to me all at once. I sat down and starting typing. My fingers couldn’t keep up with my thoughts! It is a children’s book, of course, because I relate to children and how their minds work on a very natural level. It’s adults that have me stumped! So, after a couple of attempts to figure out who might illustrate this book, I, along with my eager and willing husband, have decided to do it myself. I have been given many more talents by God than I was even aware of. You know the verse, God will equip the called… well he has. Never before could I draw like this or even see an image in my head and portray it on paper. Wow, I can do all things through Him has a whole new meaning to me now. So, that is in its middle stages of being drawn now. I will need some volunteers to be in a photo session soon to add the people to the backgrounds. So, if you want to be part of an awesome best-seller children’s book, let me know. All proceeds from this book will go to support the NO NAME organization!
In the meantime, we’ve continued to wait on the system for our adoption hearing, have some issues with child support, visitation concerns, and faced some tough love parenting situations. All the while, God has been the conductor every day and even though it may sound like head-banging heavy metal to me down here on earth, every once in while he puts his ear buds in my ears and I am able to hear a well-orchestrated symphony. He has placed some God serving people in our path, and for that I can never be thankful enough. He has provided, on time every time. I am learning the simplest things right now.
When you put your focus on the calling God has for you, and your thoughts remain focused on Him and his purpose for your life; your troubles seem small and even vanish. And he takes care of each and every need according to His riches in heaven. I am truly unworthy to receive His mercy and grace. I have doubted Him. I have wondered if He has been watching and if he even cares. I have picked up the wand and orchestrated in my own way too many times. I have deemed Him unable. Why? Because of fear.
So, as the storms of life have kept raging, I’ve learned to ride the waves better. God has a purpose for me and this family of mine. I watched a video on my news feed yesterday about a little boy named Jayden Lamb who died from cancer back around Christmas. This little boy said to his dad that ‘God needed him more’. Since he died, miraculous acts of paying it forward have happened in honor of Jayden Lamb. His parents paid the ticket for the car behind them in the drive thru to show their thanks for how supportive their community was during their struggles. They attached a note that said paying it forward in honor of Jayden Lamb. It caught on and massive acts of kindness broke out in their community and surrounding communities; much bigger than the price of a value meal. Go to my news feed and watch it.
Although I am not faced with a terminal illness, I get it. God needs me more too, but right here on earth; right here in my community to be a light. Allowing Satan or the negative thoughts in my head to convince me that I won’t be successful with this vision is not going to happen. I will not let obstacles stop me.
So, I have a few things brewing right now and since God is in charge I am confident that they will all be blessed beyond my wildest imagination. I will get back to blogging about my childhood, my hilarious kids, and things of that sort soon, I promise.
Thankful that I’m still being faithfully blessed in this mess!
Blessed in the Mess 